Pool side living

Gorgeous Saturday here in Dfw I went over to my buddy Danny’s condo for their yearly pool get together which meant I sat in the blistering heat, ate some BBQ, and perved on chicks in bikinis who were lounging around the pool while we talked about the future of the radio industry.

I knew I was doing the pool thing but I get weird about being shirtless in public because I’m losing weight in an odd way. It’s like I have a smaller middle, smaller legs, and more muscular torso but the sick tragedy that is my gut is still spilling over my belt like a new orleans levee and my side boob fat and live handle meat are quite the spectacle. I’m learning to live with and enjoy my aging changing body, what other choice do I have really.

I could resist my changing Body and life but it was that resistance that led me to a spiraling depression, but no mas mi amigos.

I’m watching my body get thinner, I have more energy, I feel healthy and sure I have a bloated gut like a feed the children Ethiopian with bulging gut to match his bulging eye balls as he starves to death and to be honest I’d trade where I am now for his fate… Just for a chance to die with a big dick.

So after three hours of ball sweating lurking at the pool I made my way over to Garland to the local “Scooters” Pool Hall where I am headlining (going last) I love doing bar shows but I like doing them when the patrons are happy and attending and they want to be there.

As the people come in here, they have to tell the person collecting the money what they are here for.


They have managed to figure out that complaining can get past the $5 cover and they will get in for free, sit at the bar and judge the comedy show they refused to pay for, they will groan and be offended as their toothless day light drunk tendencies come to light and give them the nerve to sit and judge for free, some will laugh, some will hate, there will be a barefoot woman showing her boobs, drunk by the dartboard.

But that’s all part of this, and that’s what comes along with taking bar gigs, it’s what comes along with not following the rules with refusing to capitulate to the restrictive rules scared club owners put on comics they can’t control.

So I really can’t complain as I sit here outside a bar in Garland with the sun out, with a sweaty back and a room full of sad people escaping their lives on a Saturday afternoon. I manifested this very experience and I’m stoked at the opportunity to show up and entertain, to crack the mic open, to crack my brain open and see what comes out. This set could be a train wreck, it could be the new ground zero, it’s a great chance to experiment and just flow with the energy the willing and unwilling crowd chooses to give.

Crowds are like the girls pool side not all of them are great and there is no hard and fast rule about who decides who gets to laugh or wear a bikini and either way whether it’s comedy or the pool, I’ll have my shirt on, sucking in my gut and trying to see boobs.

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