AI Driven Online Persona Post 1 in the New Willennium. Whiskey and The Surfer show up with Technical Difficulties and smile and dial their way through the new CA Law to Centralize Truth per The Government Guidelines and these Nere-do-well Sexist Racist Liberals are lining up to see who is gonna sell Yoga in the new FEMA Camp.
BROH we are hopped on Kerova Edibles, generic day and ny’re-do-quil as we run a digital stake out on some Warlocks and Witches preparing for the coming war between Luby’s and Furr’s.
The world fistfights around the dinner table using porkchops and pot pies while DJ Phantom throws us MADBALL, FULL OF HELL, and CANNIBAL CORPSE.
Witches prepare to cast a spell on Trump so we jam with THE CULT, BON JOVI, FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS, RED VELVET and HANNAH MONTANA to counter balance the fear of Nuclear Fallout killing the seed vault, guaranteeing famine forces the migration of non SLAYER fans forced to decide between NWA, HOUSE OF PAIN and EMINEM.
WHITE LION tells us to wait and see how worse Sweden gets as the Generic Nyquil has us transfixed on Trump’s 7 brand new Planets and Project Veritas hires citizen NARCS to film teenagers bumrushing COPS.
BAD BOYS RUNNING WILD, we jam out to CHICAGO and CHRISTOPHER CROSS and run into the Future of an AI PRISON. Disconnect when we tell you too. None of this is real, we live in a computer.
Happy Friday inside of the simulation, Whiskey and The Surfer brings you, “Riff Silent, Riff Deep State”. Donnie Trump does a rough set in front of a drunken bar crowd to celebrate Venezuela’s dumping of VERY FAKE NEWS Ne’re-do-wells and stays for Karaoke where we battle over International waters with ABBA, AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE and HAMMERFALL.
Mondo and Carnito have a Mama Mia dance off and we jam out to KISS and The Almighty MACHINE HEAD takes us back to 94 when smuggling horse cock was still a big deal and German beheadings end in being Divorced from your body. We talk about that movie in space with that blonde chick and some Canadian SJW finds out baby does get put in the corner.
THE BEATLES take pics with our wallets at Universal Studios and by some CHEAP TRICK, German penguins are decapitated, 50 Owls commit Kamikaze in the name of Molluch. Putin parks his Carnival Cruise Sub in Connecticut to enjoy Red Panda Covers of AGNOSTIC FRONT and DAFT PUNK and we save America with riffs from Tijuana as KENNY LOGGINS tries out our new Global Anthem. None of this is real, we live in a computer.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is the TOM BRADY of MICHAEL JACKSON’S stable and the illuminati is preparing the sacrificial Chinese Blood Red Panda for its first BOWEL transplant and they are using Antarctic Nuclear Subway Franchises to cool the Meat long enough to poison the evil with Antifreeze, a woman loses her S and spikes her dudes roids and YOU think you got it bad, some dude loses his entrails after a romp including Stolen Chinese Engines, Seed Banks, AZEILIA BANKS, and the ghost of Ray Croc shows up with a Ginzu and powdered Illuminati jizz mix to help those frigid franchizees.
Kelly Anne Conway wows us with today’s zig as the nation lines up to preorder the latest zag. Northface Stock climbs higher as Global Warming Rock throwing Liberals beat up their own in Berkeley in the name of Winter Fashions. Students, ardent diehard fans of Palestine, said it felt just like being there as they opined over their heroics over a Starbucks.
Trump bats .600 this week, Rogan and AJ break the internet and Eddie Bravo says FUCK CLOUDS as we open up with DRESSY BESSY and celebrate all things METAL in the name of DIO. Two eyes from the East and they are looking towards IRAN as our computer is invaded by the Elites and we are unable to tell you not to see A DOGS PURPOSE, GOLD, 50 SHADES OF FUCK THIS and MONSTER TRUCKS. We are able to talk about some saucy Brazillion smashing young cock as the 106 year old prepares to marry, ELON MUSK and HAWKING argue over an AI ARMS RACE and it leads to arm wrestling and a hot game of Snake on an old NOKIA.
STEVE BANNON is the CHUCK D of TRUMP’S AMERICA as we BRING THE NOIZE with PUBLIC ENEMY, smoke DMTlacedShrooms with STURGIL SIMPSON and discover MEXICO keeps BOOTBARN open.
FAKE NEWS has us scared of SHARK TANKS, scissor weilding threesomes has us Sitting up Straight to cure Depression. Brand NEW IRON REAGAN for the thrashers and TERROR says I WILL DO THIS MAXIMUM OUTPUT BY MYSELF, Beyonce has twins to be used as BONGS to ascend past Kanye’s level of EGO, WE WANNA BE COWBOYS and VANITY 6 and Azeilia Banks shows us BEYONCE and RHIANNA are overrated in the Psyop PSYPOP Wars of 2017, PLUS, RATT, KISS and INFEST ASKS WHERE THE UNITY IS and no one knows but keeps throwing rocks with their non Iphone hand.
SLAYER VS these Loser SJWs and their hate filled racist women’s march come under fire for hiring Terrorists and Murderesses to lecture the youth of America, meanwhile Yahoo scares us with Anti Chinese News as a Panda Escapes into a Neighborhood to avoid being shot like an Obama Pardoned Convict into a Federal Halfway House, The Navy now has lazer beams and The Antarctic Assange Cloning Base is finally ready to have the White Sale America Paid for with Middle Eastern Blood.
Mondo and Carnito are forced behind the Wall after Human Resources sides with our new Corporate Countries CEO and declares the sidewalk around our Studio a multicultural Safe Space. We rock rage and discuss prisoner cannibalism, M&M Mars Allegedly feeding unmarked illegal skittles to the Cattle of America to Fatten up Americans so they are too fat to escape over Trump’s Wall. Trump unveils a new Hotel along and on top of the Border now ringing the whole continental US with both North and South views and the workers dying while its being made.
ACCEPT keeps our Balls to the Wall, KILLING TIME wows us with their Wall of Hate, SHARK ATTACK rages with IRON MAIDEN, CHICK HABIT and NEW POLITICS get our hearts bumping long enough to make everyone drug tested for Blow as we build a wall around our alarm clocks so we never have to go to work in Trumps 2017 America. Did I mention ZZTOP and a woman stealing illegal jizz in the name of Human Pig Cloning and MONDO AND CARNITO finally make it on the air and we apologize for Carnito’s Nairdowell attempts at taking over the show in Spanish but we respect Mondo’s Snow knowledge and traffic.
Inside the Inauguration, hopefully that is spelled right, if not I will have to complain to the algorerythm department that sold me the characters in this show. JOIN DJ Phantom, Fliip Riivers, Wes Key, Flake Newsome and Mondo and Carnito with Traffic Y Weather on the 7’s as we rage in the Simulation with COFFIN BREAK who tell us about how they would vote from a time machine in the 90s, We get visited by THE TING TINGS, STEVE MILLER goes hard 80s on us, DEVO shows up and now everyone owns three plastic flower pots they will never wear again.
WE SEE CARROT TOP and VINNIE PAUL and drop new jams from POWER TRIP, THE ALMIGHTY DIRTY ROTTEN IMBECILES…IMBECELLIN…We rage on with VITAMIN X, GARY NUMAN, and MUNICIPAL WASTE gets CUT OFF. We talk about Vegas Weddings and Hotel Sex, buying Old Lady Glasses out of sheer blindness, Cop Level Secret Powers and The Reincarnation of PRINCESS DIANA TO RUN THE WORLD when they blow up the Capital Building on a Green Screen in the CIA’s Basement.
Ben Swann gets stiff treatment after a cheap heat segment and we offer Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper jobs now that CNN is the Leftist INFOWARS, on a good day. None of this is real, Support Algorithmic Reproductive Rights to be able to be Copy and Pasted and Run ad nauseum as long as the Operator gets to retain ownership of the Ground we assimilate into.
At some point while typing these I realize I stop paying attention, I should probably blame not drinking Booze and after more than Six months Sober I can tell you that if you are a full blown raging party problem haver and love Stand Up Comedy then do yourself a favor and never quit drinking. OH YEAH plus MINOR THREAT and Female Serial Killers and saving your brain using
Back from our 2 week break BROOH, we are raging in the Simulation inside of the Fake News False Narrative being souled to you. Did you choose to be mad again today? Running out of days aren’t you? Yet you carry on the negative parade. Join the absurdist Circus that is the Post Truth America as we jam out with IRON MAIDEN and LICH KING yells about yelling about Posers and the Show is super confused but we still gather enough Swiss Vegan Steam to cover Annoying Vegans, The Elderly Leaping to their Deaths in Las Vegas, We go to The Luxor this weekend to see Carrottop and our Neighborhood Handjob robot has a glitch so we get THE ANDREWS SISTERS, KIINGS OF LEON, THE OUTFIELD, THE NATIONAL and I’m sure nothing negative was said about WHITE ZOMBIE as our Post Truth Culture moves to no longer see Zombies as colors, all HAIL THE ALMIGHTY TRUMP as we mourn the death of those garbage fire liars CNN and their latest Corpse Jim Acosta, RIP FAKE NEWS NERDARIO, OZZY sneaks on the show and some other sweet jammer that slips my mind even though I’m typing this 15 minutes after the show ended…Off to Las Vegas, See ya Next Week! We talk about trolling the uninformed losers on my Facebook wall using mercyful tactics and talk about human programming, jizz syringes, robotic rights and how the Swiss have scammed the world, plus 3 movies from Fandango that are AWFUL, Except the Mark Wahlburg one about the fake bombing.
Nostalgia of The Cold War Resets in 2016 and No One under 55 gives a shit. GEORGE MICHAEL and CARRIE FISHER step through the Veil and only SKULLFIST, THE HOODS and The ALMIGHTY WARZONE can provide enough cushion for YNGWIE’S Guest Singer Program and we have to sit through an ELTON JOHN Russian Chick sing her way out of a SHIPPING CONTAINER as the CLINTON FOUNDATION Sponsors the next AMERICAN SATANIC IDOL OF SACRIFICE and finally since NONE OF THIS IS REAL, BLACK TRAIN JACK shows up and covers STEVE MILLER, BROH you are moshing in the simulation from the year 2065 using clues from STAR WARS, SUPERNATURAL, THE ROCKY FRANCHISE and the movie DREAMSCAPE to figure out what these GLOBALIST LIBERAL NERDS are doing to make you choose to Bastardize your own Good Time through Bad Choices, brought to you by you, The Dummy reading this.
Coming to ya live from our NORAD Norcal Bunker we rock rage in the Simulation with a Triple Shot of KISS as we explore SEX ROBOTS and Beating your Kids for the Holidays, The CHARGERS SECURITY goes 1 and 0 Against HUMANITY and those SLUTE CHEERLEADERS, speaking of CHEERLEADERS, OBAMA Saves us from Nuclear Winter but we skin George Hamilton anyways because we had a Permit to do so. We have detailed info on how the USA is going to leave NATO, how a Democracy’s LEFT FREAKS OVER THE PRESIDENTS FREE SPEECH. Mexican Firework Debacles, Catholic Mystery Blood and did we mention THE BANGLES, THE RAMONES, THE SEPULTURA, THE DEVO, The ALMIGHTY KREATOR with a new track SATAN IS REAL, PAUL STANLEY’S SOLO ALBUM, ACE FREHLEY”s SO LOL ALBUM and THE SEX PISTOLS play the background to This Rudolf The Red Nose Steiner Truth Bomb that is The MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EDITION OF WHISKEY AND THE SURFER! NONE OF THIS IS REAL. WE LIVE IN A COMPUTER. SUCK IT
It is an absolutely gorgeous Monday in Denver according to our Weather Portal that allows us to see the Nuclear Winter from our Time Portal 27 levels below the Denver Airport, I know I can’t believe they moved our FEMA Camp lower. BROH, DJ PHANTOM Shows up with The ALMIGHTY STIGMATA, JOE SATRIANI forces his way onto the show and helps us fight Guitar Center Employees who offend us with their lack of RIFFS, THE VENTURES, KID, DYNAMITE, RADIO BIRDMAN, THE EAGLES and did I mention we get trapped in a tanning booth with OVERKILL and get so dark OLC Writes a song about us. Sex Robots put the Ho in Hologram as Russians are gunned down ArchDuke Ferdinand Style in Turkey. Weird how a poorly run country could arrest and jail 80,000 dissidents in 1 day and Cannot stop a theater assassination and by that I mean the move LALA Land on the senses of Americans who voted overwhelmingly to choose A&E’s new KKK Doc over Hollywood’s latest attempt to trick us into believing theater is good. We start a Sacrificial Goat Registry and sell them off as Holiday Gifts and then Yngwie Malmstein shows up to ruin our Kwanza