DIGITAL CANNIBALS

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AI Driven Online Persona Post 1 in the New Willennium. Whiskey and The Surfer show up with Technical Difficulties and smile and dial their way through the new CA Law to Centralize Truth per The Government Guidelines and these Nere-do-well Sexist Racist Liberals are lining up to see who is gonna sell Yoga in the new FEMA Camp.

Butt silicone goes wrong, Cops shoot a guy over a Caulking Gun and we talk about The Real News, The Real Fake News and The Good News as we prepare for the Final Push into Armageddon, are you physically able to outlast the first 30 days of Darkness. We jam out to 369, BRUNO MARS, MOTLEY CRUE, COLIN OF ARABIA, FLOORPUNCH, BOB SEGER, EDDIE MONEY.
LEN Steals our Sunshine and CUT UP debuts a new jammer to be the cascading wave of Cardio Dreams which will save you and your loved ones. PREPARE NOW.
http:www.johntole.com
All Social Media are run by AI, disconnect and try The New Experiment.

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Nancy Pelosi has a frown off to win her next job as The Trump Train continues to roll inside of the Digital Simulation. Whiskey and The Surfer, fresh off of Ash Wednesday, they wonder if the Adam’s Family has a Tennis Coach, what is that 4 mile wide creature in the Pacific, Is Oprah training to be our next CZAR and more!
SIR MIXX ALOT an his posse are racing against LANA DEL RAY, FRANKLIN FUENTES and LA GUNS.  A woman kills a guy over a PotRoast, Fraternities go wild in Trump’s America and we rage with WARBRINGER, SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, KILLING TIME and not before we break our single day vocal record with THE DOOBIE BROTHERS and Start an All Obama Pro Weed Michael McDonald Coverband called The Doobie Birthers.
FERGILICIOUS lets us know the algorithms are flossin on Crenshaw as we spend our Lenten Season jamming out to BILLY IDOL, talking about SEX ROBOTS, Digital Orgies, LA’s new TRUMP Based SATANIC Church and ACE FREHLEY asks which Side of the Coin we have to give to GENE.
Did I mention we were Molested by the TSA twice in two hours at LAX? Did I mention Austin TSA workers stealing guns and selling them for Weed? Did I mention some Ne’re-Do-Well who wants to cut off his jack and become the boneless Alien strong enough to singlehandedly fight Trump’s Wall? Did I mention humanity is Doomed and none of this is real?

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BROH we are hopped on Kerova Edibles, generic day and ny’re-do-quil as we run a digital stake out on some Warlocks and Witches preparing for the coming war between Luby’s and Furr’s.

The world fistfights around the dinner table using porkchops and pot pies while DJ Phantom throws us MADBALL, FULL OF HELL, and CANNIBAL CORPSE.

Witches prepare to cast a spell on Trump so we jam with THE CULT, BON JOVI, FITZ AND THE TANTRUMS, RED VELVET and HANNAH MONTANA to counter balance the fear of Nuclear Fallout killing the seed vault, guaranteeing famine forces the migration of non SLAYER fans forced to decide between NWA, HOUSE OF PAIN and EMINEM.

WHITE LION tells us to wait and see how worse Sweden gets as the Generic Nyquil has us transfixed on Trump’s 7 brand new Planets and Project Veritas hires citizen NARCS to film teenagers bumrushing COPS.

BAD BOYS RUNNING WILD, we jam out to CHICAGO and CHRISTOPHER CROSS and run into the Future of an AI PRISON. Disconnect when we tell you too. None of this is real, we live in a computer.

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Happy Friday inside of the simulation, Whiskey and The Surfer brings you, “Riff Silent, Riff Deep State”. Donnie Trump does a rough set in front of a drunken bar crowd to celebrate Venezuela’s dumping of VERY FAKE NEWS Ne’re-do-wells and stays for Karaoke where we battle over International waters with ABBA, AUSTRIAN DEATH MACHINE and HAMMERFALL.

Mondo and Carnito have a Mama Mia dance off and we jam out to KISS and The Almighty MACHINE HEAD takes us back to 94 when smuggling horse cock was still a big deal and German beheadings end in being Divorced from your body. We talk about that movie in space with that blonde chick and some Canadian SJW finds out baby does get put in the corner.

THE BEATLES take pics with our wallets at Universal Studios and by some CHEAP TRICK, German penguins are decapitated, 50 Owls commit Kamikaze in the name of Molluch. Putin parks his Carnival Cruise Sub in Connecticut to enjoy Red Panda Covers of AGNOSTIC FRONT and DAFT PUNK and we save America with riffs from Tijuana as KENNY LOGGINS tries out our new Global Anthem. None of this is real, we live in a computer.

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JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is the TOM BRADY of MICHAEL JACKSON’S stable and the illuminati is preparing the sacrificial Chinese Blood Red Panda for its first BOWEL transplant and they are using Antarctic Nuclear Subway Franchises to cool the Meat long enough to poison the evil with Antifreeze, a woman loses her S and spikes her dudes roids and YOU think you got it bad, some dude loses his entrails after a romp including Stolen Chinese Engines, Seed Banks, AZEILIA BANKS, and the ghost of Ray Croc shows up with a Ginzu and powdered Illuminati jizz mix to help those frigid franchizees.

JESUS, how long is this show?
35 minutes of riffing over riffs in the name of riffs, Wes Key and Fliip Riivirs might disagree politically but its fun in the AM on Denver’s Top Iconic Rock as MOTLEY CRUE drives Sam Kinison to their gig and opens for the ALMIGHTY AGNOSTIC FRONT, we keep the vein pumping into the new heart with HATEBREED, BLOOD FOR BLOOD, THE WRONGSIDE, FOLSOM and break down comic merch, IVANKA’S Republican Go Fund Me campaign is robbed and we buy a lazer run on Digital Angst and Lizard controlled Weather.
Mondo and Carnito have two more weeks of Suspension after an incident in HR involving a DOPETHRONE and a rented stomach stapler stolen out of the basement at The Golden Nugget. Bug Theater Denver March 4 w SHULI EGAR, after that we go full casino and turn this buffet of Ignorance into a Benihana Sizzler sized Onion Volcano and Pray a Tsunami cleans Venice of its venture capital.
2 LIVE CREW gives ELLE KING the BUSINESS only to be accompanied by THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS, HAVOK, MISSIO from Austin throws their finger in the air only to he saved by WHEELER WALKER JR, who has been Everywhere Man and saving America by hiding autotuners from Eddie Van Halen and we decide Immigrants need to be Eddie Vetted, if he won’t let em in Pearl Jam, then they gotta wait.
Set your Heart to THE EMOTIONS and learn that loving love is the new hating hate so grab your Hitler Cat, the phrase that Pays, grab four handfuls of NAZI PUSSY and lets TP ROGER GOODELLS Alleged Sex Mansion with 25 rolls of three ply Dead Falcon.
None of this is Real, support algorithmic equality.

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Kelly Anne Conway wows us with today’s zig as the nation lines up to preorder the latest zag. Northface Stock climbs higher as Global Warming Rock throwing Liberals beat up their own in Berkeley in the name of Winter Fashions. Students, ardent diehard fans of Palestine, said it felt just like being there as they opined over their heroics over a Starbucks.

Trump bats .600 this week, Rogan and AJ break the internet and Eddie Bravo says FUCK CLOUDS as we open up with DRESSY BESSY and celebrate all things METAL in the name of DIO. Two eyes from the East and they are looking towards IRAN as our computer is invaded by the Elites and we are unable to tell you not to see A DOGS PURPOSE, GOLD, 50 SHADES OF FUCK THIS and MONSTER TRUCKS. We are able to talk about some saucy Brazillion smashing young cock as the 106 year old prepares to marry, ELON MUSK and HAWKING argue over an AI ARMS RACE and it leads to arm wrestling and a hot game of Snake on an old NOKIA.

STEVE BANNON is the CHUCK D of TRUMP’S AMERICA as we BRING THE NOIZE with PUBLIC ENEMY, smoke DMTlacedShrooms with STURGIL SIMPSON and discover MEXICO keeps BOOTBARN open.

FAKE NEWS has us scared of SHARK TANKS, scissor weilding threesomes has us Sitting up Straight to cure Depression. Brand NEW IRON REAGAN for the thrashers and TERROR says I WILL DO THIS MAXIMUM OUTPUT BY MYSELF, Beyonce has twins to be used as BONGS to ascend past Kanye’s level of EGO, WE WANNA BE COWBOYS and VANITY 6 and Azeilia Banks shows us BEYONCE and RHIANNA are overrated in the Psyop PSYPOP Wars of 2017, PLUS, RATT, KISS and INFEST ASKS WHERE THE UNITY IS and no one knows but keeps throwing rocks with their non Iphone hand.

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Nostalgia of The Cold War Resets in 2016 and No One under 55 gives a shit. GEORGE MICHAEL and CARRIE FISHER step through the Veil and only SKULLFIST, THE HOODS and The ALMIGHTY WARZONE can provide enough cushion for YNGWIE’S Guest Singer Program and we have to sit through an ELTON JOHN Russian Chick sing her way out of a SHIPPING CONTAINER as the CLINTON FOUNDATION Sponsors the next AMERICAN SATANIC IDOL OF SACRIFICE and finally since NONE OF THIS IS REAL, BLACK TRAIN JACK shows up and covers STEVE MILLER, BROH you are moshing in the simulation from the year 2065 using clues from STAR WARS, SUPERNATURAL, THE ROCKY FRANCHISE and the movie DREAMSCAPE to figure out what these GLOBALIST LIBERAL NERDS are doing to make you choose to Bastardize your own Good Time through Bad Choices, brought to you by you, The Dummy reading this.

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Coming to ya live from our NORAD Norcal Bunker we rock rage in the Simulation with a Triple Shot of KISS as we explore SEX ROBOTS and Beating your Kids for the Holidays, The CHARGERS SECURITY goes 1 and 0 Against HUMANITY and those SLUTE CHEERLEADERS, speaking of CHEERLEADERS, OBAMA Saves us from Nuclear Winter but we skin George Hamilton anyways because we had a Permit to do so. We have detailed info on how the USA is going to leave NATO, how a Democracy’s LEFT FREAKS OVER THE PRESIDENTS FREE SPEECH. Mexican Firework Debacles, Catholic Mystery Blood and did we mention THE BANGLES, THE RAMONES, THE SEPULTURA, THE DEVO, The ALMIGHTY KREATOR with a new track SATAN IS REAL, PAUL STANLEY’S SOLO ALBUM, ACE FREHLEY”s SO LOL ALBUM and THE SEX PISTOLS play the background to This Rudolf The Red Nose Steiner Truth Bomb that is The MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EDITION OF WHISKEY AND THE SURFER! NONE OF THIS IS REAL. WE LIVE IN A COMPUTER. SUCK IT

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It is an absolutely gorgeous Monday in Denver according to our Weather Portal that allows us to see the Nuclear Winter from our Time Portal 27 levels below the Denver Airport, I know I can’t believe they moved our FEMA Camp lower. BROH, DJ PHANTOM Shows up with The ALMIGHTY STIGMATA, JOE SATRIANI forces his way onto the show and helps us fight Guitar Center Employees who offend us with their lack of RIFFS, THE VENTURES, KID, DYNAMITE, RADIO BIRDMAN, THE EAGLES and did I mention we get trapped in a tanning booth with OVERKILL and get so dark OLC Writes a song about us. Sex Robots put the Ho in Hologram as Russians are gunned down ArchDuke Ferdinand Style in Turkey. Weird how a poorly run country could arrest and jail 80,000 dissidents in 1 day and Cannot stop a theater assassination and by that I mean the move LALA Land on the senses of Americans who voted overwhelmingly to choose A&E’s new KKK Doc over Hollywood’s latest attempt to trick us into believing theater is good. We start a Sacrificial Goat Registry and sell them off as Holiday Gifts and then Yngwie Malmstein shows up to ruin our Kwanza

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When we started this show this year the goal was 200 episodes and here we are celebrating the release. Drunk Pets, learning new vocabulary, what is happening in Antarctica, we watch Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle live at The Comedy Store. We invade the local hot tub only to be stared at by these neredowell Apartment types and their ability to be nosy and cleanly at the same time. OH YOU WANT MUSIC. First of all DJ Phantom shows up with some LIVE IRON MAIDEN, first record ENTOMBED, new NAILS, somehow those 3 songs opened up a riff portal and MADONNA makes her show debut, beyond that we gain control of The Temple of Doom Ore Cart and drop JUDAS PRIEST, Prepare some dry panties when we say FISHBONE makes a debut, MADNESS has us concerned about the Future of Good Taste and we round out the effort with The Lords of Clevo, RINGWORM.  its Episode 200, see ya Wednesday.

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