Nostalgia of The Cold War Resets in 2016 and No One under 55 gives a shit. GEORGE MICHAEL and CARRIE FISHER step through the Veil and only SKULLFIST, THE HOODS and The ALMIGHTY WARZONE can provide enough cushion for YNGWIE’S Guest Singer Program and we have to sit through an ELTON JOHN Russian Chick sing her way out of a SHIPPING CONTAINER as the CLINTON FOUNDATION Sponsors the next AMERICAN SATANIC IDOL OF SACRIFICE and finally since NONE OF THIS IS REAL, BLACK TRAIN JACK shows up and covers STEVE MILLER, BROH you are moshing in the simulation from the year 2065 using clues from STAR WARS, SUPERNATURAL, THE ROCKY FRANCHISE and the movie DREAMSCAPE to figure out what these GLOBALIST LIBERAL NERDS are doing to make you choose to Bastardize your own Good Time through Bad Choices, brought to you by you, The Dummy reading this.
Coming to ya live from our NORAD Norcal Bunker we rock rage in the Simulation with a Triple Shot of KISS as we explore SEX ROBOTS and Beating your Kids for the Holidays, The CHARGERS SECURITY goes 1 and 0 Against HUMANITY and those SLUTE CHEERLEADERS, speaking of CHEERLEADERS, OBAMA Saves us from Nuclear Winter but we skin George Hamilton anyways because we had a Permit to do so. We have detailed info on how the USA is going to leave NATO, how a Democracy’s LEFT FREAKS OVER THE PRESIDENTS FREE SPEECH. Mexican Firework Debacles, Catholic Mystery Blood and did we mention THE BANGLES, THE RAMONES, THE SEPULTURA, THE DEVO, The ALMIGHTY KREATOR with a new track SATAN IS REAL, PAUL STANLEY’S SOLO ALBUM, ACE FREHLEY”s SO LOL ALBUM and THE SEX PISTOLS play the background to This Rudolf The Red Nose Steiner Truth Bomb that is The MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS EDITION OF WHISKEY AND THE SURFER! NONE OF THIS IS REAL. WE LIVE IN A COMPUTER. SUCK IT
It is an absolutely gorgeous Monday in Denver according to our Weather Portal that allows us to see the Nuclear Winter from our Time Portal 27 levels below the Denver Airport, I know I can’t believe they moved our FEMA Camp lower. BROH, DJ PHANTOM Shows up with The ALMIGHTY STIGMATA, JOE SATRIANI forces his way onto the show and helps us fight Guitar Center Employees who offend us with their lack of RIFFS, THE VENTURES, KID, DYNAMITE, RADIO BIRDMAN, THE EAGLES and did I mention we get trapped in a tanning booth with OVERKILL and get so dark OLC Writes a song about us. Sex Robots put the Ho in Hologram as Russians are gunned down ArchDuke Ferdinand Style in Turkey. Weird how a poorly run country could arrest and jail 80,000 dissidents in 1 day and Cannot stop a theater assassination and by that I mean the move LALA Land on the senses of Americans who voted overwhelmingly to choose A&E’s new KKK Doc over Hollywood’s latest attempt to trick us into believing theater is good. We start a Sacrificial Goat Registry and sell them off as Holiday Gifts and then Yngwie Malmstein shows up to ruin our Kwanza
BROH, we are moshing along with the impending end of the First Amendment, The Electoral College, Snopes, Facebook as Fox News and Their Truth Weilding Team of Perfect Haired Models cross their hot gams and tell you the things you already believe. DJ Phantom throws a couple old Timey Jams including Patti something, The NITTY GRITTY DIRT BAND leads into stories going into two directions. 1 Police dog feasts on a homeless guy while some PA weirdo feasts on Dog Dong in a video taped exploit only to be Narced out by her Sister in Law. Emails hacked and any bloating or weight gain is not Christmas’ Fault, its The Russians. We are MOSHING with MOTLEY CRUE, EARTH CRISIS, ONE LIFE CREW, NO JUSTICE, The Almighty FLOORPUNCH, TERRORIZER, a Death Metal Band I already forgot the name of. A semi non spoiled ROGUE ONE Review and 3 MOVIES FROM FANDANGO.COM proving how much HOLLYWOOD hates you and wants all your money as the town figures out how to make Heart Warming Propaganda stories of love as The Right Wing invades the Liberal Writer’s will her Period be covered under Trump’s Obamacare in a special Episode of BLOSSOM. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.
The tree is up in Denver and we are celebrating the new Trump reality show, “Cold Justice”. MOSH? Cmon, what are you new? Brand New BLOODCLOT, somehow Megadeth sneaks in, some weirdo pop song that annoyed me at a super high level, but then all of a sudden, DJ Phantom throws bombs with ELVIS HITLER, CROMAGS, BLOOD FOR BLOOD, Live AGNOSTIC FRONT and HUEY LEWIS defends his honor against the music director from Ghostbuster’s 3. Did I mention none of this is real and disclosure is on the way? Runaway Parade Floats, faking your own death, Podesta Spirit Cooks on a Spirit Airlines flight and the result is a Cauldron of Snakes so evil, a Virgin Airlines Sacrifice will be made to cover up the FAKE NEWS Death of someone faking their own death, Live from Argentina its “Let’s Not Let This Get To Cannibalism”.
1 2 1 2 3 4 , We are off and running like a JOURNEY Cover song, shot out of a Cannon coming to you from the Oregon Coast where we are raging on Legal Weed, Anti Starbucks Sentiment and half my hotel are here for Dysentary related funerals. We discuss living in The Post Truth America as the Culture moves from Truth to Data and the implications of using Crowd Emotion Sourcing to Determine what is real for the majority. FACTS no longer MATTER as The Digital Algorithm Worms employed by Youtube and Hollywood make sure you are focused on the Satanic Hollywood Parade that is The Scientology Float where Tom Cruise jumps on a Giant Couch on Lease from Gallagher’s Cousin.
DJ Phantom shows up and says we are doing FACE TO FACE, GUTTERMOUTH, MANIAC and JUDICIARY, a couple odd surprises, 1 weird song I forgot the name of PLUS! AU REVOIR SIMONE? Is that a band? Anyways plus and way more important, SEPULTURA, THE ALMIGHTY COLD AS LIFE, HARMS WAY, and THE HELLACOPTERS. Pentagrams invade a park as The Satanists demand Equal Christmas, Facebook and their left leaning antics are somehow coopted by The Ultra Right Wing in Germany as they demand Sanctions for Hate Speech as some Dutch Politician takes it in the pants because a Crowd wants less neredowells invading their Red Light District.
Thanks to The Sour Koolaid Show on Twitch, Motel 6 and apologies to The YMCA, The Indian from The Village People, Fonzi’s Waterproof Leather and Vanna White’s Cankle Issues. See ya Monday! Medford Oregon Friday and Saturday, Back in the friendly confines of our home studio 17 levels below The Denver Airport, Whiskey and The Surfer return to COLORADO! U R MOSHN or you you’re not because A. You Don’t Thrash and B. See A.
It is Wednesday or that’s what those purveyors of FAKE NEWS want you to believe. This is Trump’s America every door opens when its attached to a World Leader. We talk about how to get into The Golden Elevator, we invade a Seminar on Whiteness and score with chicks who later have to sell their hair to eat. This is TRUMP’s AMERICA, these Haircasters better get in line or they’ll be slanging lies on a chinese knockoff of Vine. A guy gets left at the Altar and another alters his unit because his wife A. Hasn’t smiled in 10 years and B. A is probably enough. She’s not much to look like and their Third World House looks like they’re banging on the Set of a CaddyShack related Set at a poorly planned Haunt. Probably a better riff for October. Some airline makes flying worse again, The FOO FIGHTERS are not on this show BUT we rage with HOODS, IRON MAIDEN, every show? why not? INTERNAL AFFAIRS, TAKE OFFENSE, CIRCLE JERKS, SUICIDAL, DI, a TRIPLE SHOT OF SOD, some old timey shit I forgot the name of, plus you know, THE ALMIGHTY AGNOSTIC FRONT and we continue to rage in THE TWILIGHT ZONE with GOLDEN EARING. I can’t wait to see the video of TRUMP Mocking MCCAIN. Anyone see an issue with a move to change the 7 year General in Government Rule to a lesser time? Apologies to SNOW, the tram operator who got loud during The Jaws part of Universal, Black Licorice and all byproducts and remember None of This is Real.
When we started this show this year the goal was 200 episodes and here we are celebrating the release. Drunk Pets, learning new vocabulary, what is happening in Antarctica, we watch Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle live at The Comedy Store. We invade the local hot tub only to be stared at by these neredowell Apartment types and their ability to be nosy and cleanly at the same time. OH YOU WANT MUSIC. First of all DJ Phantom shows up with some LIVE IRON MAIDEN, first record ENTOMBED, new NAILS, somehow those 3 songs opened up a riff portal and MADONNA makes her show debut, beyond that we gain control of The Temple of Doom Ore Cart and drop JUDAS PRIEST, Prepare some dry panties when we say FISHBONE makes a debut, MADNESS has us concerned about the Future of Good Taste and we round out the effort with The Lords of Clevo, RINGWORM. its Episode 200, see ya Wednesday.
It’s Friday and we are celebrating Steve Simeone’s Number 1 iTunes Album, “What’s Up Nerds”. We are talking about stealing a Pastor’s Nudes and the lawsuit that follows, we trash 3 movies about Demons, bad jobs and the lack of entertainment that is the Trash Heap of this city. Set List last night was awesome and I apologize to the dead crew of The Boyager, Dwight Goodens’ father and The company who owns and maintains the Saddaminator discussed yesterday and on stage. DJ Phantom wows us with SAMMY HAGAR, WILL TO LIVE, NIGHT RANGER, RETALIATE, seriously you would think that is enough, then I busted a hard riff on Student Loan Debt with KENNY LOGGINS and showed these nerds how my LOG IS THE REAL DANGERZONE, excuse me while I log in to log out, we prepare for Trump’s Coming Armband workout, forcing Children to build their own schools after they use Common Core and Disney to dismantle all creative thinking. Lets put the Doc McStuffins into InDOCtrination. The Show rages on with DEATH THREAT, VAN HALEN and The Almighty SKARHEAD gives you the weekend playbook and how to rage inside of the Simulation. See ya Monday.
Nothing like a screwed up schedule to ruin what wouldve been a super sweet show which ended up still being sweet, weird, metal as F, thrashworthy expose of Psyops, weird news, weird Food. Why are we talking about new Artificial Food Tech, Cow Farts and the resurfacing of Anthony Weiner from Rehab, Huma’s make up and email tips and also how fast PIZZAGATE will lead to internet controls. The trap has been laid. Hard mosh from WARBRINGER, MUNICIPAL WASTE, The Almighty MADBALL, S…PACEWAX, fresh off of their unfunny Austin comedian backed outrage fest, BLACK PUSSY shows up and sings about weed. This is Trump’s America if you wanna send alpha mail to the show email@example.com GET ON THE CHRISTMAS CARD LIST TODAY, See ya at 24 Hour Fitness, this summer is gonna be Arm Band Season, do you have The Biceps to pull it off? http://www.Sexpotcomedy.com http://www.johntole.com/blog http://www.whiskeyandthesurfer.com