Seriously … A wheel chair… Come on …

I’m sitting at the Columbus airport, it’s 5:05am, I’m in a wheelchair and my ankle can only be described as fucked up. The cops and paramedics were hella cool and Carey mixed a sweet vodka infused vitamin water zero roadie that I’m nursing while we wait to fly. Best part is that we ditched the handle of vodka in the garbage outside only to retrieve it thirty minutes later to make the pain and airport boredom manageable. Lol Up The Punx.

So three songs into our pitboss 2000 reunion set tonight during “blow the ladder” I found a soft spot in the stage and I rolled the ankle. I’ve rolled this ankle before many times at shows. The last time it was this bad, it was the summer of 97, I was in Detroit watching Machine Head and Corrosion of Conformity and after I sang a Cromags cover with MH I noticed there was a shit head seig Heiling in the front row which is enough of an open invitation for violence so we jumped off the monitor and my left foot found his shoulder and my right foot found his face and I dropped 370 lbs of fat kid on him which knocked him out but I traded an ankle for it.

Maybe that’s karma coming back that one song after we did “Driving with your Chin Aka the Ballad of Christopher Reeve” where we lyrically bash the handicapped I hemmed up my ankle.

Everything happens for a reason and I’m enjoying being able to be lazy and sit around buzzed in my wheel chair. Maybe it’s a wake up call that my 40 year old ass needs to stick to jokes and leave the young mans game of hardcore to the young dudes. Maybe, except every dude I respect is still doing this in their 30s to 60s and I’m gonna keep it up and enjoy it while it’s here.

Columbus hasn’t changed, the kids and music hasnt changed my friends haven’t changed and I can always count on that.

We used to practice twice a week in a warehouse and we hung out and did shows in 2000, 11 years later, same practice space, same songs, but it didnt feel one bit like 11 years had passed, there’s something about being involved that stops the aging process.

I am gonna stay young until I die, why? Because I get to choose to. Everyday, every choice, to not be jaded to accept what is and to no longer resist this universe.

I just wheeled my way through security, I was prodded, wanded and searched for bomb residue and I made the best of the process, what else could I do I’m internally raging on vodka and no sleep.

There was a dude in the handicapped stall in the Mens room…. what an asshole. Can’t you see that’s for people who need it ;).

For the cripples…. Cause they can’t mosh.

Everybody move it!

GG investments Inc

I’m pretty sure I witnessed a drug deal today or two CIA operatives trading identical Nike bags that were stored under a bus that goes back and forth from RVA to NYC.

That’s normal right…. A bus pulls up, the driver gets out , unlocks a compartment , a guy walks up they trade bags and the dude leaves and the guy goes back to being a bus driver.

That’s a pretty sweet gig, I’ve always wanted to get into international crime or pull some capers or hijinx, but I was raised in the suburbs with the fear of hell and prison rape as a deterrent from being a bad ass and now I smuggle punch lines inside of rape jokes and deliver them to drunks and for a second make them feel better or I’m delusional and the stage is really my living therapy.

I’m on a six hour bus ride to NYC and it just started, I want to sleep but I also don’t want to get stabbed in the neck by a stranger but then again maybe I do, stranger things have happened.

Two shows in two days in Richmond and I had a blast, got to meet some new folks and party with old friends. We did a show at what used to be the old Twisters, which pitboss 2000 played there in either 98 or 99, mornings changed 13 years later I’m still a 13 year old saying offensive things in the name of underpaid underattended entertainment.

The show was video taped so there is evidence of me ruining the life of another cunty woman who wanted the show to be about her and I gave her what she wanted but also opened her brain up for the crowd to look inside and laugh. I also told the calling Dwight Goodens father the N word story which they were amusingly horrified by and I had to remind them that if they didn’t want to hear racist thoughts they should’ve tried harder to win the civil war…. So that happened.

20 shots of vodka later I’m hurling clear liquid on my new GG vest and ringworm t shirt and being the belligerent philosopher I’ve always wanted to be.

Life is amazing, I’m head over heels for Carey and full on love sick in a gay as fuck way but I’m cool with it. It’s nice to miss someone , it’s very raw but it also keeps my head and heart open to experiencing everything this shit pile has to offer and I’m beyond stoked we get to do spots together in Columbus, I just have to stay alive long enough to make it.

Today’s a drinking off day, I normally say that on days where I end up shitfaced but I’m on the road and I have no responsibilities other than writing and performing and riding busses and witnessing drug deals.

I’m going to listen to the new Powertrip songs and you should too.

As far as bands go they are right along with Municipal Waste and Overkill on the awesome scale and it’s fucking great to know that level of band is in my backyard, go see them with AF at trees in sept you’ll be stoked you did.


Pool noodles and the apocalypse

Last night I participated in a comedy competition in Fort Worth at a small bar that was full of people drinking and laughing on a Sunday , everyone did well and I was fortunate enough to put together a solid 5 of new and old to get the win.

I’m not really big on competitions as far as comedy goes but it’s a necessary part of this life so I might as well enjoy the process and considering when I started in 2003 the open mic spots I was getting were after 1amand normally performing to other open micers and mostly chairs. After a while you learn to love the chairs.

I have a new hobby where I see change and embrace the new whatever. Relationships, work, radio, music, my health, my art it’s all in a constant state of flux. It’s easy to see now how before I was resistant to change and how life would manifest itself into problems and drama because I was fighting what was every step of the way.

Acceptance is at the foundation of our beings and with faith it’s nice to sit back and watch life fall into place and the coincidences and simple miracles blink into place.

The ultimate task is being still enough to watch life being created while maintaining an inner vigilance to continue to embrace the decisions with enthusiasm that vibrate at the highest levels.

This only works if I can maintain my suspension of judgement.

And that’s where we are today, fully accepting, no longer judging and constantly giving attention to the people I’m fortunate enough to encounter along the way.

Today my “punk ethic” was questioned and the term hippie was thrown my way. I’ll gladly take all of it. Sometimes it’s nice to know there’s more out there paying attention than just the chairs.

Acceptance and attention … The end

With these two principles at your foundation you can conquer this “world”. You can surpass any limitation and co create your reality.

At that point you just have to sit back and enjoy the odd moments, the inside jokes, the belly Laughs that come with living in the middle of a big inside joke.

sometimes it’s a duel with pool noodles inside a walmart that gets thwarted because your mind was read by someone who has known you for 1000s of years.

Sometimes it’s a late night exorcism and dispatching rabbit sized demons ,( when my book comes out you’ll get this story in it’s entirety.)

Sometimes it’s just a blank white board that says reality at the top of it and what’s left are your dreams and intentions.

Sometimes it’s chairs with the potential for audience , but that doesn’t change the attention or the delivery.

Time to bring the A game to the A game.

Love , attention and acceptance, as it’s always been regardless of whether or not I wanted to fully believe or participate , I’ve spent a lifetime limiting my output and held back by my judgmental definitions and resistance and sometimes you have to believe not only are the chairs not empty and being patiently held for guests who have always been there but waiting for my full attention.

Boner jams 5000